Panic Wank


a game played by terribly bored teenagers. the typical scenario involves being alone in one’s room, erection in hand. the partic-p-nt then shouts in order to call the attention of someone they would rather not be masturbating infront of: the most common example being the mother. the player then attempts to bring himself to climax and clean up before the mother, or other, enters the room to see what they were wanted for.
a rainy day in middle cl-ss english suburbia. one nervous sixteen year old male clutches his erect p-n-s in one hand, kleenex in the other. he clears his throat, ensuring his voice does not falter.

“mum!!”

the game of panic w-nk begins.
having a w-nk in a moment of anxiousness, fear or when your just plain sh-tting yourself about something. its like a phsyical way of letting out your fear in one quick, easy step.
dave: “i think they know about the body in your freezer scott”
scott: “ahh!!”
richard: “scott’ll be off to have a panic w-nk now. haha”
everyone: “hahahaha!”

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