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parkville. it’s a place where the baltimore accent is most distinctly heard. where it’s okay to work on your car in your front yard; plumber’s crack and all. it’s a place where people occupy every corner and every front porch. where it’s only natural to walk around without shoes at the first sign of warm weather. it’s the place where pants sag, shirts are almost non-existant, and shoes hang from power lines.

parkville breeds the most eclectic kinds of kids. there are the red neck babies, running around with mullets and no shirts; the wanna-be-thugs, selling pot at age 12; the hard–ss kids, staring down any and every person they p-ss on the street; and the ballers, playing at the park all hours.

if you live in parkville you no doubt know your sports. the parks are run down but you learn to deal. there is always a game of street ball being played. when the basketball hoops lack a net and a hoop, you shoot at the backboard. we play pick up soccer barefoot in the street, the backyard, or an overgrown field.

if you live in parkville, you are expected to have a little bit of black in you, no matter how white you are. and you show it with pride. parkville residents may not be the brightest, cleanest, or cl-ssiest people. but we carry ourselves with pride. no matter how far you might stray, you will always show a faint glimmer of the parkville kid you once were and always will be. wear it with pride.
harford park, dutch villiage, northern parkway.
plain and simply parkville is a great place to grow up. unfortunately it is now being dominated by an overwhelming population of spooks and wiggers. the true people of parkville are the guys who play baseball and the guys who aren’t good enough to play baseball therefor play lax. the baseball guys are considered preppies but we really arent quite rich enough to buy alot of those brands so we go shopping at rugged wearhouse and ross. every guy at one time played for harford park little league. the “heart of parkville” is known as all the streets that surround the villa cresta elementary field. on a routine summer night you can find up to 3 groups of people pounding brew and smokin buds. if your from parkville you either attend parkville high or the select few who go to chc. even the guys who aren’t wiggers know how to fight because behind every sooped up honda youll find a baggy pants wearing wannabe thug whiteboy who talks sh-t and they gets his sh-t kicked. people in parkville are not rich and most of them really dont like the richies in nearby towson and dulaney. in fact the nearby towson and dulaney kids are quite scared of parkvlle. our archrival is perry hall “the sooped up car mecca.” the main sport in parkville is baseball because it is america’s sport and we love our country here in parkville. in this generation parkville has been dominated by mainly 4 families : the baer’s, the price’s, the hearn’s, and the mangione’s. parkville may not be the brightest, best looking, cl-ssiest, nicest people in baltimore county, but i garan-f-cking-tee you we will kick your -ss.
dulaney or towson kid: ” what school you go to man?”
parkville kid : “p’ville son.”
dulaney or towson kid: “ohhh (while he looks at his gay friends and laughs)
parkville kid: “sweet shorts you f-ggot. go f-ck yourself b-tches.”
the high where you can find a little bit of everything. you have your wiggers and thier wigger sl-ts to go along with them, the overwhelming number of black kids who ride the bus up from the city, the greasy skater kids and their pot-smoking girlfriends, the gross nerdy magnet kids, the magnet kids who were shipped here from perry hall, the nast dundalk magnet kids and then the occasional groups of preppy kids which consists mostly of lacrosse girls and baseball boys who hate the rest of parkville.
p-ville kid 1 : yo boy im a wigga, where be my wigga hoe
p-ville kid 2 :dawg ic oem from the city
p-ville kid 3 : computers rule!!
p-ville kid 4: girls lax rules! oh, and i hate all te rest of you
an area that can be divided into two parts:
the area in baltimore county (you went to parkville middle.)
or, the part i’m speaking of real parkville in the city. (you went to woodhome elementary/middle.)

an upper middle crust slice of sub-urbia, parkville is the older brother of hamilton aka little africa. although, the n. parkway seperation makes a h-ll of a difference.

although, racially it’s about half and half, the black kids generally spend most of their time seperated from the white kids, and vice versa. the white kids mostly spend their free time/summer smoking pot, skating, or what most of them do is do an ollie and call themselves a skater, while the black kids in turn can be seen walking all day. for abosuletly no apparent reason. although, the thug and wigger are not uncommon sites.

parkville has crackheads a plenty, so sit back and watch them as they p-ss through the alleys behind 7-eleven yelling at eachother.

the hon can be seen here, as this is her winter home when she needs a change of scenery from canton.

parkville youth is dominated by poser skaters who cannot actually do anything besides an ollie. sadly. you’re a skater, or you hang out with the skaters smoking potbecause that’s all there is to do here. or, there are the few occasional completely normal kids who have a good time, and are not complete pot-heads, but might dabble in it on occasion. also, the skaters think your gay if you don’t smoke pot. but, if you’re normal and hang with normal people, n-body cares what those losers think.

if you live here, you go to 7-eleven or giovannia’s whenever possible. although, if you have a brain, you clear out as soon as the skaters roll in because you don’t want to listen to them or their stupidity.

the parkville shopping center is another attraction around here enjoyed by the locals. the posers hang out in the parking lot, dodging vehicles that the basicly dive right in front of. these poor losers get their lolz by watching other non-poser/normal kids simply walk by them. because that’s so funny.

living here, you obviously enjoy the perks of the harford road hookers being picked up by police and laughing at their misfortune.

all and all, if you choose the right friends, you can grow up right.
i’m from parkville. i know.
the place where you can find a whole school of kids playing outside all day because their uber-christian parents pretend that they are teaching them at home. where you could at one point find a balanced number of pro-george w. and anti-george w. b-mper stickers. where, it doesn’t matter if one is a “wigger” or a “goth” because either way, you’ve convinced me not to drink the water here. but it is a quaint little spot, rednecks and all. inflatable ravens characters adorn front lawns and drinking on the porch is not a-typical. also: thugs can be found at the whiz car wash and taco bell across the street where as the hottopic kids linger around burger king. don’t confuse people from carney with parkvillians or else they are insulted.
carney: pfft, i’m north of parkville. or should i say “pukeville”?
inner suburb in the north of melbourne, surrounded by north melbourne, carlton and brunswick. best known for the university of melbourne, located near the border of parkville and carlton, and the optus oval.
i’m enrolling at melbourne uni, parkville campus.
parkville is complete white trash.
all the kids there are wiggers.
they drive “hooked up” blue celicas.
they wear black tennis shoes.
all they wear is polo thats 2 sizes too big.
the girls are sk-nky with dirty hair.
the boys just dont have b-lls
white trash
foshizzal!!!
perry hall is the sh-t!