pitbull suicide
when a person with beer goggles hooks up with another, they will often p-ss out next to their one-time lover, only to wake up in the morning and realize their conquest was ugly as f-ck. no problem, they dress faster than a fireman and hit the front door, never looking back. occasionally, however, said conquest is lying on the formerly beer-goggled person in such a way that extricating him/herself without waking the other person up would be an impossible task. the pitbull suicide is when a person saws off his/her arm or other appendage in order to avoid waking the fugly person next to him/herself. it can be done with ones own teeth (hence the name “pitbull suicide”) or a knife/axe/saw/spork that’s within easy reach.
i lost my arm in a pitbull suicide last week after i couldn’t release it from under the chick’s gunt. i’ll miss that arm, but i did get out of there without waking her up.
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