when your bowels arent moving when you want them too or when you dont feel like taking a sh*t
*sam is trying to take a sh*t*
sam:f*ck it.i’m going to poocrastinate
taking as much time on the sh*tt*r as possible to delay working on another, more important project. when one poocrastinates they sit back, relax and let nature take its course, however long that maybe. the reading of shampoo bottles, magazines and engaging in existential thoughts of life are highly common, even way after sh*tt*ng has occurred.
i have a 2,500 word essay due tomorrow. i was a third of the way through when i decided to take a dump. 45 minutes later, deep in thought, i realized i had finished p**ping nearly half an hour ago. “d*mn i sure can poocrastinate” i said. then i noticed i hadn’t read the back of the toilet paper package yet…
delaying defecation until it becomes more urgent than whatever one is currently doing, often resulting in a clenched sprint to the toilet
mary poocrastinated while finishing the knitting of her new sweater’s sleeve. with a sudden loss of control, she threw down the knitting and flew to the bathroom, trying her best to keep the turtle from sticking its head out further.
when you spend more time p**pin’ than getting actual work done.
bob would get more work done on his thesis if he didn’t poo-crastinate all the time.
“jill, have you gotten those tps reports done yet? the boss will be very mad if they’re not done soon!”
“no, i haven’t. i just can’t help poo-crastinating the stoopid tps reports!”
to put of the act of taking a dump because you don’t want to miss a show, game, etc. this usually results in a huge cr*p coming out all at once right when you finally sit down on the john.
man, earlier i was watching the game and i poocrastinated in the 4th quarter ‘cus it was such a good game. now my b*tth*l* hurts like h*ll.
when you procrastinate by taking an extra long time in the bathroom.
guy 1: hey where’s jim we need to get this project finished?
guy 2: i don’t know man, he’s been in the bathroom forever. he’s probably just trying to poocrastinate.
guy 1: typical jimmy….
what is done in and around a shared bathroom while waiting for others to leave so you can cr*p in private. often includes face washing and mirror gazing.
sorry i’m late. george peed, did dishes and shaved so i had to poocrastinate for like 20 minutes before i could leave. i really had to go.
- power spoon
when you’re little spoon but you *ssert your dominance by reaching back and putting your fingers in their b*tt “yeah, we cuddled afterwards but she was power spoon…i’m scarred for life tbh” “who’s your daddy??”, he said as he *sserted his position as power spoon
a common version of pewdiepie, often used in a derp version pewdiepie: hey guys poodiepie here for epsode 9001of happah whels
the span of sl*t birth years between which the present day individual can procure. baller-w’s poonspan was just shy of two decades on his most recent trip home – he banged the coug a day after railing the ol’ high school sweetheart four years his junior from behind.
- pretzel crunch
when a guy pushes your legs behind your head while having s*x and proceeds to “crunch” you while putting all of his body weight on you. pain is usually *ssociated with this position. “how was your night kelly?” “john pretzel crunched me so hard, i couldn’t breathe.”