Preakness
a baltimore tradition known for legal public drunkeness. it doesn’t matter if you’re 12 or 52 – you will be drunk. you will probably ride a school bus to pimlico, where you will ingest more beers than you ever have before at 8 am. you will continue drinking in line, so that by the time you enter the field, you already have the drunk munchies. you may not actually see a horse all day, yet this is indeed a horse race. and yet, many have been known to spend money betting on smarty jones just to get a lousy $2 pay out. you will come clean and leave covered in either beer, urine, mud, puke, or a fabulous combination of the group. you will probably use a port-a-potty more in this one day than all other days of your life combined. you will challenge people at bonging beers, and invent new drinking games that will be forgotten the next day. you will make grand plans to go out that night and continue drinking, but will p-ss out anywhere between 3 and 7 pm until noon the next day. you will spend $40 to spend a day in the dirt, and know it’s a bargain. if you’ve gone once, you will return every year thereafter, and love that you live in the fabulous city of baltimore.
i can’t really remember preakness, but it flippin’ rocked!
highly attractive in regard to a circ-mstance; very cool.
or
used to describe a situation in which extreme fortune has occurred.
person 1: hey, i signed us up for a free boat cruise.
person 2: preakness. we can sing “i’m on a boat”.
———
person 1: turns out she isn’t pregnant, and i got a raise.
person 2: preakness.
sweat from your b-llsack.
it’s so hot, i’m working up some preakness.
sweat from your b-llsack.
it’s so hot, i’m working up some preakness.
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