premuff


when a couple has been dating a while, some tend to get, uh, comfortable. really comfortable, as in, the girl starts growing out the carpet downstairs (along with putting on ten pounds and a pair of sweat pants).

so, a guy tends to meet a girl, and she’s all stoked on bikini waxes and the like, so naturally he thinks he’s found himself a winner, so they date a while. but low and behold, after after a few months, chubakah takes over.

a prem-ff is a contract (like the prenup) that binds the girl, at signing, to a minimum level of hygiene.
example 1

girl: you know tom, its been a while now and, since we’re exclusive and all, i don’t see why we can’t call each other girlfriend and boyfriend

guy: that sounds great, but before we do that, i want us to go over this contract together – its not that i don’t trust you, honey i know you’ll keep shaving, but its just that i’ve heard horror stories, will you sign it just for my own re-ssurance?

example 2

guy just ties the knot = relationship: dude, sarah and i are official, finally! man, i’m stoked bro, we’re gonna do everything together, and we’re even talking about moving in!

friend of guy: that’s awesome! you guys really seem happy together. but dude, you signed a prem-ff right?

guy that just tied the knot: nah man, i trust her, she ain’t gonna go all chubakah on me.

friend of guy: duuuuuude, you f-cked up man, watch, six months in she’s gonna grow it out and wondering why you don’t love her no more. d-mn dude, always have em sign the prem-ff.

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