Professional Bitch Slapper


a male or female, who has an estraordinary ability to continually dish out high quality b-tch-slappings. by b-tch slappings it refers to not slapping a b-tch (though they can do that), it refers to slapping one in one or more of the follwing manners: b-tch-like (as in performed in the manner that a “b-tch” would do it), b-tchy (as in hurts like a b-tch), or even b-tchin’ (as in sweet or kick-ss).

a professional b-tch slapper hires out his gift from god so he can help the world… and make some bucks. they can be hired out generally in increments of five slaps or more at a time, at varying slap power amounts (from the lowest strength style: “sissified”, to the infamous style known only as the “ancient mongolian b-tchslap of eternal suffering”). b-tchslappers don’t have a tight booked schedule, as having one generally discourages customers from calling on the fly and making impulse payments. instead, they have multiple clones, on average each b-tchslapper has 4 clones or so working for him at any given time.

a professional b-tch slapper can be hired:
-because somebody ticked you off.
-because a profanity was said.
-because somebody did something stupid.
-because you just don’t like the way someone looked at you.
-as a birthday present to family and friends.
-to show who’s the boss around here.
-slapping fetish.
-because you wish to atone for your sins by having yourself brutally b-tch-slapped.
-just because you d-mn well feel like hiring one.

no matter which way you look at in, the historical, revered craft of b-tch-slapping is a wonderful thing to behold. in fact, in spanish, the same word is used for “professional b-tch slapping” and “advancement of civilization”. in fact, amazing innovations in b-tch-slapping style, technique, form, and use for exploding things is growing every second. across the world, the professional b-tch slappers inst-tution (which even has it’s own tv channel, known as pbs) is making the world a better place to order a b-tch slap, b-tch slap another, or just get b-tch slapped in. professional b-tch slapping, and the attractive -sswhooping -ssociation, are both two wonderfully exciting things, jump on the bandwagon as soon as you can, because this is no fad, it is a almost-religious practice bound to outlast humanity itself!
bob was feeling (insert emotion here), so he hired a professional b-tch slapper

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