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where shopping is a pleasure… but working is an utter h-ll.
at publix, we make sure that our -ssociates will give up everything short of their lives to make life for a single customer a better one.
a grocery store that is the essence of h-ll and communism combined. you can be as rebellious as you want, but their evil forces make you put on “a happy face.” everything is strict, so avoid “the talk.” the talk is when one of your 12 managers talks to you about productivity and customer service; they smile manically when they look at you.
no one that works there has high school degree except the managers, so everyone there is either retired of a student. i have worked there for two years and i need a way out before i’m consumed completly. poor poor max. he was consumed and he can’t stop smiling.
the pay is good and they hire everyone; handicapped, mentally ill, retired folk and students. some times they hand out yo-yo’s and slinkys’ that are red.every four to six months your pay will go up or down 25 cents. but after a while, the will forget about you completely and focus more on the fresher meat for hire. you can start working soon by applying at the digital resume machine next to the dry ice in the back of the store.
sweety! i’m going shopping at publix and i’ll be back soon!
where shopping is a pleasure, but working is a freaking nightmare.
dawg, don’t ever work at publix, it’s your worst nightmare.
a supermarket who’s unwavering policy is to spoil and pamper every last customer into thinking they are always right, at the expense of their -ssociates. they claim to go to any lengths to protect their -ssociates, but in reality, will scoff and tell them the customer is always right. they labor under the delusion that their employees live to pay freeway tolls, judging from the 25-cent raises they award their most submissive slaves every six months. i don’t recommend working there unless you enjoy having customers complain about your five-o-clock shadow, then having to quickly invent a story about why you didn’t shave that morning to tell your manager, after which you will be written up. the managers excel at making others feel miserable. their most common activity is sitting in their air-conditioned office, counting the store’s total profits for the week and watching the entire store on the security cameras, laughing manically the whole time. meanwhile, you are standing at a cash register listening to some -sshole yell about how he couldn’t find a product we don’t carry, followed by an old lady who insists that the 99-cents-off coupon means the product actually costs 99 cents, followed by a homeless dude who reeks of body odor and gives you a handful of dimes, nickels and pennies to pay for his loaf of bread, leaving you to count out the correct amount while he helps himself to the complementary coffee. five minutes later, some pr-ck raises an uproar over the fact that there is no coffee left, prompting the managers to award him a free pack of coffee in the hopes that this will inspire him to return. oh yeah, they don’t even give discounts to their employees. f-ck publix, i sincerely hope they go bankrupt.
don’t work for publix, they will force you to sacrifice your dignity!
a grocery store that is known for its high prices and over worked, brow beaten employees.

the only place in this free country where a 75 year old bagger with a severe limp is expected to walk a customer outside and unload their bags of groceries into their lexus or soccer mom van.
where, if an irate, uncouth customer screams and yells loud enough, can get any item for free for no valid reason.
“i shopped at publix yesterday, and saw a well-dressed woman belittle a 65 year old deli clerk in front of a manager. people are so rude”

“if you enjoy never having weekends off with your family, constantly being harr-ssed for not working fast enough, and enjoy being debased and exploited by obscene, cheap customers just trying to get something for free, then work for publix”
publix is a supermarket controlled by malicious, high school degree-bearing managers and their 8th grade graduate -ssistants. focusing on customer service, sincere workmanship, and a happy f-cking omnipresent smile , publix is the epitome of the communist crown. while proclaiming to go to any lengths to protect their -ssociates or -ssist a customer, managers smile deviantly behind their c-ke-bottle gl-sses, knowledgeable to the fact that they’ll rake in the cash for a “deed” completed, while in actuality completing nothing.periodically, a monstrous quarter raise is awarded to the pr-ck with unwavering slavery and solitude to the inst-tution. thus, next time you walk into your local publix,take satisfaction in your surroundings. indulge yourself in the fact that you have entered an establishment where a high school degree reigns supreme to a four year degree;where a disabled individual with turet’s probably makes more than you, and where rabid managers exploit their -ssociates and their dignity to thieve you of your very last penny.
i was at publix last night buying trojans, and the manager approached me and requested i take off my pants. i complied, and received a coupon for a bl-wj-b from an autistic bagger.
a corrupt h-llhole, that seeks to monopolize the grocery industry with higher than average prices, tyrannical managers, spoiling their customers so badly they b-tch if they have to bag a single thing and working poor employees to death with outrageous standards, that make them look like sc-m if they aren’t kissing the very ground on which the customer walks and getting plastic surgery to permanently transfix they’re faces into a creepy smile that says “kill me!!!”. but they’re not completely evil, they give their slaves a quarter raise every half a year of back breaking labor if they’ve sold enough of their soul, they give them humiliatingly gay uniforms that have caused a rise in suicides since 1935 and let them go outside (whether it be pouring rain, hot as h-ll or colder than the abominable snowman’s b-lls) to help -sshole customers put their sh-t in their cars, which they have magically forgotten the location of, so that they can watch the employee like a hawk, to make sure that they don’t try to steal anything, and drive off without so much as any consideration to giving that poor soul in the rearview mirror a single cent for they’re help. my single prayer each and every night is that i can escape this sh-thole i foolishly put myself into 4 years ago, if you have a subservient att-tude, lack of all emotions except for happiness and no need for a non-existent discount on their overpriced products then this place is your ideal job, you poor b-st-rd.
satan: “well foolish mortal for your sins i’ve thought of the most evil and cruel punishment possible.”

sinner: “your going to make me burn in a lake of fire, while having a pitchfork shoved up my -ss for all eternity?”

satan: “no, your going to work at publix for the next 24 hours, hahahahaha!!!!!!!!!”

sinner: “ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!! no, please chop my b-lls off and feed it to dogs, have a giant rape me for 7 years, but not that!!!!!!!”

satan: “oh stop whining, here’s your free stock”

sinner: “oh, well that sounds good”

satan: “it’s completely worthless”

sinner: “noooo!!!”

satan: “also you get benefits”

sinner: “well…”

satan: “you have to work for 5 years to get anything”

sinner: “noooooooo!!!!!!!”

satan: “well have a good day at work, oh! and here’s your uniform”

sinner: “aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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