Pulling an Oracle


when a person, company or organization takes over something that people depend on, then totally screw it up so bad, or jack the price up ridiculously high, that it’s now completely unusable and loads of people are just plain screwed. the perpetrator then gets off totally scott free, laughing in total glee at others misfortune. usually used to destroy a competing service, company, technology, person, memory, holiday or other resource. named for oracle, inc. after their acquisition of sun microsystems, and oracle’s subsequent destruction of the java programming language and mysql database system. but applicable to every day life by cool people as well as nerds. because cool people are actually smart, not pathetic losers who revel in their own idiocy.
say you’re at a party and some dude grabs your beer then spits in it. “want it back now?” he says. that’s pulling an oracle.

or, say your best buddy had s-x with your girlfriend. you can’t sleep with her ever again – not after he’s been playin’ around in that! he just pulled an oracle.

another example: say you have s-x with a girl for the first time on christmas eve. like the dumb-ss you are, you fall head over heals for her. then she goes and f-cks every guy in sight and laughs her -ss off at your subsequent state of total disarray. now, every time you think of christmas, you think of her – and all the pain she brought into your world. that’s one masterful pulling of an oracle.

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