Raging Heterosexual
raging heteros-xual, n. (technically a tatpurusa compund)-someone whose heteros-xuality so deeply transcends the typical thoughts and behaviors of his or her peers that this person feels no need to mimic the traditional patterns of heteros-xuality as defined in society; such patterns include making out, hitting on, or grinding with one or member of the opposite s-x. normally this person’s raging heteros-xuality is a problem for every member of the opposite s-x nearby since these members can feel the profoundest of bacch-n-l desire for this person. were it not for the immense concentration of the raging heteros-xual to control this power, all of these members would begin to perform the absurdest of acts, the least of which have included doing cartwheels in waltz time in front of fraternity houses, or devouring hundreds of bananas over the course of four hours while wearing a dracula costume. thankfully, the number of raging heteros-xuals in the world appears to be few, although, as of september 9th, 2011, at least one raging heteros-xual has identified himself in the greater boston area.
jan: hey jack, is there a reason you won’t dance or make out with any of the 10+ girls who are fawning over your every movement?
jack: it’s probably because i’m a raging heteros-xual and i don’t feel like dancing with any girls. plus i’m in a bromance with jon, graham, and carlato, and i would rather grind on one or more of them right now.
an individual who will not date or have any s-xual contact with members of the same s-x with no exceptions to the rule
you; “is terry over there gay?”
me; “no, i’m sure he’s a raging heteros-xual”
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