Randolph-Macon Woman’s College
hollins to bed. sweet briar to wed. rmwc girls go pre-med. if hollins and sweet briar had a threesome with einstein at hampden-sydney, they would have a baby called randolph-macon woman’s college. this baby would wear lilly pulitzer, pearls, rainbows, carry vera bradley to every cl-ss, and have the most recent knowledge of feminist culture as well as art, science, and literature. she also would be caught lurking in the woods at night wearing black robes and bandanas creating all sorts of mischief (some call witchcraft), but really, she lost her sororities in the 70s because civil rights were more important. also, she would be split between three personalities: the confused hippy bis-xual, the trophy wife heteros-xual, and the banner waving lesbian.
hsc boy: why are rmwc girls the best?
hsc boy 2: because they know what “nantucket red” is, and they think it’s r-t-rded that we would care about such a material thing?
hsc boy: yes.(hand me another beer.)plus, not only are they smarter in the cl-ssroom than any other girls, they’re smarter in bed.
a small, private, 4-year liberal arts all female college. in addition to a beautiful campus and incredible professors, the students are top notch, going on to higher degrees, winning famous fellowships, and getting awesome careers. they can compete with any ivy league graduate in a battle of wits and are known for their independent nature. for fun, they frequent nearby colleges, including hampden-sydney college, an all male college. they are the envy of nearby all female colleges, such as sweet briar college and hollins. viewed as mostly snotty sorority-esque girls, neither college can compete with r-mwc’s brilliance.
sbc girl: we’re so much prettier and richer than randolph-macon girls! -flips hair and adjusts pearls-
r-mwc girl: looks and money only matter if you don’t have a brain. at least i’m going to an intellectually challenging college and not just a finishing school.
hsc boy: wow, a girl that can think for herself! marry me now, r-mwc girl!
r-mwc girl: you’ll just have to wait until after i finish my peace corps service and doctoral dissertation.
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