Red Joke

a joke that is so long that your beard grows back before it is over, and never has a punchline that is worth the wait. called a ‘red joke’ because is usually told by a conservative old man in kentucky who sits in his rocking chair for 8 hours a day with chew, a spittoon and a shotgun at his side. some times called a ‘long joke’.
“hey, you want to hear a red joke?’
“no.”
“okay!”
“late one night a man is driving down the road, speeding quite a bit. a cop notices how fast he is going and pulls him over. the cop says to the man, “are you aware of how fast you were going?”

the man replies, “yes i am. i’m trying to escape a robbery i got involved in.”

the cop gives him a skeptical look and says, “were you the one being robbed?”

the man casually replies, “no, i committed the robbery.”

the cop looks shocked that the man admitted this. “so you’re telling me you were speeding…and committed a robbery?”

“yes,” the man calmly says. “i have the loot in the back.”

the cop begins to get angry. “sir, i’m afraid you have to come with me.” the cop reaches in the window to subdue the man.

“don’t do that!” the man yells fearfully. “i’m scared you will find the gun in my glove compartment!” the cop pulls his hand out. “wait here,” he says.

the cop calls for backup. soon cops, cars, and helicopters are flooding the area. the man is cuffed quickly and taken towards a car. however, before he gets in, a cop walks up to him and says, while gesturing to the cop that pulled him over, “sir, this officer informed us that you had committed a robbery, had stolen loot in the trunk of your car, and had a loaded gun in your glove compartment. however, we found none of these things in your car.”

the man replies, “yeah, and i bet that liar said i was speeding too!” ”
“… wow that was not worth the wait…”