regal juice

(n) the combined garbage you left at a movie theatre that later ferments into what is known as “regal juice”. the lonely nachos you paid $15 for and still refused to eat. the dehydrated soy bean oil disguised as “b-ttery topping” that you incisted be layed five times with popcorn that has never touched a popcorn scoop. the juice from your wasted (and racist) “señor carlos” jalapeños. the sad suicide slushy you demanded to be mixed in a specific order. the gray ketchup left on the remainder of your green hotdog. if you don’t take your gallon sized cup home to bring back later for free refills; the dribbles of your c-ke zero mixed with regular c-ke (if you’re on a diet, you’re doing it wrong).

all this stews at the bottom of trash cans, trash compactors, “wooshs”, and “tanks”. if you have ever worked at a regal theatre, you know exactly what regal juice smells like, and how sad it is when you get any on you.
usher 1: “dude! i was throwing that trash bag into the compactor and the discount trash bag broke open and spilled all over me!”

usher 2: “seriously, you can smell the regal juice a mile away. too bad you can’t go home to take a shower, it’s christmas and we still have 13 hours left in the shift.”