roman helmet

while they are p-ssed out, gently and inconspicuously place your fleshy bag on their forehead while carefully laying down your dudemeat down the bridge of their nose in parallel fashion
“gary p-ssed out, so we all took turns fitting him for a roman helmet”
the art of placing your hairy sweaty n-ts-ck on a rivals forhead. then going in for the kill slapping down of the p-n-s on the nose -ssuring victory. also known as the “ender to all wars.” technique: usually alcohol related 1. find the victim 2. ready the forces 3. engage the n-ts-ck with the forehead 4. drape shaft on nose 5. claim victory
i gave a dog a roman helmet yesterday. then something happened that i dont want to talk about.
when a man lays his genitalia on a girls face while she is p-ssed out and usually he tries to reach his genitalia down to her nose.
“hey danny remember that time you gave toni marie verheeck a roman helmet?”
“yeah man she was drunk as h-ll..fit her well too”
although the definition of the b-lls on the forehead and p-n-s down the bridge of the nose is accurate, what is not accurate is the genesis of the term. astute observes might notice that ancient roman war helmets did not in fact have a nose piece.

the reason that it is called a roman helmet is that during caesar’s conquest of gaul, he had their leader vercingetorix surrounded in alesia when the gallic reinforcements arrived and surrounded the romans. outnumbered and demoralized, caesar rallied his troops by offering a soldier who had lost his helmet his b-lls and p-n-s as a replacement. so moved were the troops at caesar’s offer of self-sacrifice that they went on a rampage and defeated the gauls. the rest is history.
offensive lineman: “sh-t, i lost my helmet on that last play”
quarterback: “as leader of this team, i will offer you my roman helmet to wear.”
offensive line (together): “what a leader! let’s go win one for the gipper!”
when a woman is on her period and you are eating her out, getting your red wings. when you finish the job you drag your head, from the tip of your nose to the back of your head.
dude, i was getting my red wings last night when i topped it off with a double banger! i got a roman helmet too!
the hair sticking out of a very hairy -ss crack that resembles the “mohawk” on a old fashioned battle helmet.
“wade you need to wax your -ss you have a roman helmet down there”
the act of defecating on someone’s head from front to back, so as to imitate a roman officer’s helmet.
“she was so kinky, i gave her a foot-long roman helmet!”