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safetard

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• Salami tie

  the simultaneous -j-c-l-t–n of two p-n-ses into two distinct orifices of the same female. during this specific s-xual encounter, both men are striving to -j-c-l-t- first; however, they do so in unison, creating the salami tie. “i can’t believe that bruce and jimmy finished in me at the same time. i totally thought that bruce […]

• salmon bagging

  when an elderly lady dangles her aged l-b– on the forehead of an unsuspecting hot-tubber (normally the recipient of a salmon bagging is semi-conscious from consuming too much alcohol in a hot-tub, but a requested salmon bagging is not uncommon in some cultures) hey nana, look at that drunk guy p-ssed out in the tub, […]

• Second-hand alcohol

  consuming alcohol that someone else has already consumed. kissing someone who has just taken a shot and receiving second-hand alcohol.

• semi-skimmed homo

  semi-skimmed h-m- (sem•ee•skim•ed•hoe•mo) when you have that one friend that adds “no h-m-” to the end of every h-m-s-xual thing they say, you refer to them as a “semi-skimmed h-m-” (1% h-m-s-xual). “i want her to sit on my face. no h-m-. i’m straight i swear.” “alice, you’re a semi-skimmed h-m-.”

• shat on

  1) talk sh-t about 2) talk cr-p about 3) be dog about person 1: i love apples! person 2: i hate apples lol they suck they are the worst fruit ever person 1: wow, you just shat on my favourite fruit to have experienced inferiority as a direct result of the actions of another party. […]

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