Sailor Cherry
small latino man (with or without moustache) in 50’s pin-up attire. sometimes likes to aspire to do modelling or tell potential suitors that he is a model.
sailor cherrys (such is the plural) are never over 5ft in height and often have jabba-the-hut esque facial characteristics.
a good example of a sailor cherry in the media would be the small character ‘rinky tink’ (often mislabelled online as ‘tattoo’) from the 1970’s us television show ‘fantasy island’.
sailor cherrys are often happy in demeanour until their ruse is uncovered and their actual gender is revealed, at which point they become incredibly fierce… a la ‘rinky tink’ from television’s fantasy island.
a sailor cherry’s natural habitat would be any bar or beach where throwback, rockabilly losers hangout and dance to wanda jackson records or johnny cash. should any of these people discover that other types of music and other artists existed in the 50’s it causes upset and confusion, but not to sailor cherrys. they listen to amy winehouse, happily bobbing their head… a la ‘rinky tink’ from television’s fantasy island.
a most startling characteristic of the sailor cherry is their protective nature toward any food preparation area they deem to be their own.
there are many reports from southern california of sailor cherrys baring their teeth and screaming a string of incomprehensible language in a high-pitched, banshee like wail before attacking. the common feature among these incidents has been the presence of one or more other person than the sailor cherry entering her kitchen… a la ‘rinky tink’ from television’s ‘fantasy island’
“oh g-d, n-body look. here’s comes sailor cherry! n-body talk to shim!”
“hi sailor cherry! i just thought i’d drop into your kitchen for…”
“screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wajawanacaminmakishenfayosnafabish?!”
“sailor cherry’s drunk again, he’s trying to sleep with a coyote.”
“oh no, sailor cherry’s put lipstick on. it must be mating season.”
“the plane boss! the plane!”
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