Sale Mum

a mother from the town of sale, victoria, australia. any age from 14 to middle age. sports oversized plain t-shirts, singlets and tight, bland track-pants that show off the underpant line. they are seen hunting in packs, their hair tied back in a pony tail with repulsive regrowth, tied back so violently, it pulls back the skin on the forehead, revealing the pimples on the pale skin that usually resides underneath the tarnished hair. the sale mum is an overweight specimen that is seen pushing a pram with very unfortunate tenants inside, and smoking pj blues from a 30 pack, spraying the unwanted youth with their smoke. their presence is felt whilst walking past la porchetta in the mall or in the shopping centre, usually seen in shops such as go-lo and the reject shop buying flimsy toys for their sadly underprivileged and fatherless children. unfortuantely these beasts aren’t smart, having dropped out of school at 11 to become a ‘full time parent’ (which consists of smoking bongs) and don’t understand what s-xual protection is, and when they’re four months pregnant they aren’t smart enough to get out the coathanger. they always wear too much make-up, and all it does is further enhance the foul properties of their face. if seen wearing shorts you will be unfortunate enough to capture a glimpse of their cellulite laden, unshaven legs. the language used by these creatures is foul and spoken in a high-pitched whine. they consist of roughly 75% of the female population of sale.
harriet: ew, what on earth is that thing plugging up the 12 items or less isle in safeway?

mitch-ll: oh that, it’s just a sale mum purchasing her cigarettes with her 4th child.

harriet: it’s disgusting.

mithcell: f-ck.