Santa Barbara

a jewel on the californian coast, truly like no other. the weather is beautiful 24/7/360, the people are decent, the ocean and the santa ynez mountains surrounding it are beyond words.
come see it before its too late, though. its being invaded by developers, and the average house price is near a million dollars. affordable housing is used as an excuse to put in large ugly apartment buildings. while sb still has the “small town” feel, its not going to be there for long.

oh yeah, the mission. if you only see one mission in your life, see the santa barbara mission. its incredible.
santa barbara. its the last beautiful city in california.
one of the most beautiful place in california. people like to hate on people from california, (rigtfully so cuz they’re all so d-mn stuck up), but people from s.b. are laid back stoners who just want to chill at the beach or go on a hike.
i’m 24 and i’ve lived in s.b. my whole life. i would never want to be categorized as a rich b-tch, dumb -ss californian because i’m way more chill than those -ssholes.

me: lets go to the beach and blaze it.
friend: sounds chill, lets go.
visiting
it’s a great place to visit if you stay in the downtown area. state street is the main shopping area for tourists and preppy rich kids. there is(or was) a wh-r- house on haley street. walk down there in the evening and you may see a few prost-tutes. the pier has great places to eat and shop. there’s a fortune teller there if you’re interested in getting ripped off. there are also rental shops where you can rent bikes, roller skates, mini cars, and more. if you leave the downtown area be sure to check out isla vista(iv). college parties galore.

living
many people think the inhabitants of santa barbara are all rich sn-bs. this is untrue. while some of the teenagers and college goers are sn-bs most of us are just laid back stoners/tweakers who are constantly bored. on weekends college goers can be found in iv at frat parties and bars. high schoolers can be found driving around aimlessly, downtown on numerous drugs, in iv partying, or at public elementary schools on numerous drugs.

other facts
santa barbara’s teenage populance is turning scene. help stop the problem by providing the rest of us with plenty of drugs.
dos pueblos high school is the birth place of this scenester tragedy. it is also known as the hick school because it is surrounded by various farm land.
camino real used to be the hang out place on weekends until the rest of us got cars and better drugs.
according to us panda express is real chinese food and taco bell is real mexican food.
in n out is the main fast food place.
we are notorious “dude” users.
ignorant -sshole: “santa barbara is filled with rich sn-bs”
me: “actually santa barbara is filled with nihilistic stoners/tweakers who are much cooler than your punk -ss will ever be.”
kinda like the greenwich ct of cali but cooler and warmer and not deppressing. where i want to be.
yo you been to santa barbara cuz thats where i want to be
a remote fishing village of 140,000, with an exclusive, nouveau-riche mentality reeking of ent-tlement. it is a simultaneously right & left wing post judeo-christian enclave where parades range from historic to the absurd. it was a center of chumash indian culture. ronald reagan later gleefully told his wife, ‘those oil rigs out there look just like christmas trees to me, nancy!’ most of the real-estate purchased just a few decades ago for mere tens of thousands now sell for over a million dollars. after the housing bubble hit the beach, people held on due to its prime location on a pacific coast & resultant climate, in spite of the cost of property taxes & rents. it is also home to about five major colleges, students & staff. its major import is tourism.

the dichotomy: severely handicapped, mentally ill, parolees & homeless visit & often remain there because of the weather & the fact they sometimes get disability checks; medication or have doctor’s appointments in the area & therefore also call it ‘home’. like other cities across the country there is a mission (not the pretty one on the hill) & a few help outreaches but almost no affordable housing. the section-8 housing list, although not perpetually closed like other major nearby cities such as la & san francisco; is reputedly seven-thousand miles long, (each year representing a thousand miles to be walked) with most applicants dying before they reach the top.
we’re from lompoc, but when you walk down the street in santa barbara, kids, —don’t talk to anyone, so they’ll think we’re locals or foreign tourists. and if anyone asks, say you were born here.
a phrase used to describe your mood or your life that compares to perfect weather, perfect beaches, perfect women. the sickest, nicest place on the entire west coast of the us, california.
man, my life is f-cking santa barabara right now.

q: how you feeling?

a: i’m santa barbara.
sounds like paradise but only if your visiting… trust me it gets boring after a while.
guy 1: hey is santa barbara fun? i hear it’s like paradise
guy 2: come here only for vacation. or else you’ll find yourself in santa boring.

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