scandinavian coffee bath
the scandinavian coffee bath is the preferred method of caffeine consumption for millions of scandinavians. a proper bath involves finely ground coffee beans, a funnel and one cup of lukewarm distilled water for every heaping tablespoon of grinds. consumers merely need to funnel grinds into their -n-s and chase slowly with water. sitting with your -n-s elevated, pointing your toes to the sky and gently thrusting upwards will brew the coffee directly into your r-ct-m, causing a slight caffeine buzz beginning in your r-ct-m and ending in your brain.
gus: hey man, want a french press or an americano?
lucas: neither man. i had a scandinavian coffee bath at breakfast and i’m still buzzing.
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