schaeffer academy

a private, cl-ssical christian school in minnesota. students that attend schaeffer are often called schaefferites and know each other fairly well. schaefferites are defined by their ability to write, but not speak latin fluently. this is considered a useless skill by most within the school. the school forces students to wear uniforms, but allows the occasional mufti (this is a highly celebrated and antic-p-ted event) day. students who graduate from schaeffer will for certain know these five things:

1. the yearbook p-ssword for the computer lab

2. every student and their cousin’s name

3. the apostle’s creed

4. who francis schaeffer is

5. not-tia, -ssensus, fiducia

to reprimand students, teachers will give out demerits. this is a pointless piece of paper de- meriting the students actions. no one cares about them, well, except for a few people.

finally, three things schaeffer graduates will never understand are…
1. why we can’t chew gum.

2. what white rabbit really means and why we always say it…
3. why we can’t have our end of the year water fight anymore.

-non schaefferites will often spell schaeffer like shaffer or schaffer…this is how you spot a wannabe.
i learned latin at schaeffer academy for 6 years, and i still can’t speak it!
private christian school that contains one all dictating person who steals guys but otherwise its ok. and theres a fetal pig in the wall btw.
i used to go to schaeffer academy but now i dont