schmutz


used by jewish mothers to identify that you’ve got some kind of cr-p on your face
mommy: you’ve got som schmutz on your face, oy!
you: blech!
random, icky stuff that ends up on you or something else.
“d-mn, i got schmutz on my shirt!”
“dirt” in german

schumtzieg is “dirty”

often used in replace of “dirtbag”

(oomlauts are replaced with an “e” after the vowel)(ie = i + oomlauts)
kid smoking = a “f-ckin schmutz”

german, sie ist sehr schmutzieg
english, you are very dirty
the rancid combination of cigarette ashes, food debris, spilled coffee and high flying man j-zz that acc-mulates between the keys of your favorite keyboard. this combination of atrocities can and will lead to uncommanded keystrokes on your favorite browser, unintentional facebook posts, and worst yet….complete keyboard failure as you are about to bust a nut on xhamster. randygoatradio listeners seem to be unproportionately affected by this condition. keyboard schmutz is best addressed by either getting another cheap ten dollar keyboard or running it through the dishwasher.
randygoat radio listener: i was surfing xhamster.com and all of a sudden my screen filled up wit t’s and keep switching back and forth between tabs

mrpres: oh …..you got the keyboard schmutz!

tuna: my finger in my r-ct-m!

moo: that is why i have three keyboards

d-cky: –p2c–
the weird, somewhat greasy buildup that occurs on the screen of your cell phone after use
‘dude, your phone is gross, wipe that schmutz off of it before you use it again!
an oleaginous, sticky, greasy, often smelly, and otherwise noxious and unidentifiable substance.

little johnny w-nked off and the schmutz went all over the bathroom mirror.
a 1930’s to present day description of a rather attractive young female. schmutz is usually used when a male is courting or flirting with the young female.
coach malone: hey schmutz, how about you make yourself a little more comfortable up in here. ey ginger?

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  • schtumpy

    it literally means alligator. i saw an ad with a kid singing about his schtumpy, and he was holding a stuffed alligator, so i -ssumed he was singing about his d-mn alligator. or crocodile. what’s the f-cking difference? kiss my schtumpy, you little dweeb!

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    someone whom you miss terribly, as they are simply not around as often as needed. ie- “i miss you terribly, schplinkadoo.”

  • Schua

    the opposite of a chode; an extremely long but skinny p-n-s paul stuck it in me but i didnt feel it width-wise because of his schua.


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