School of Music


a college of the university of minnesota-twin cities which is the only university department worth devoting a human life to. non-students suck at life (rest of cla), or have sold childhood dreams to sleep with numbers or become numbers as they brown-nose their way up the ladder in a faceless corporation that sells sh-t no one even cares about (it, csom – respectively). contrasted with the carlson school of management (csom) and the inst-tute of technology (it), the som is populated by people who posess stellar social skills, intimidating stage rapport, as well as a tangible performance talent capable of winning the respect, admiration, and jealousy of their peers. most som students could kick your -ss in rocking (literally), and often jump at the chance to tell you why your music collection proves why you’re pathetic.
carlson student: “i see by your natural ability to capture the attention of a concert hall, my sniveling rat-like ways will never make people truly adore me. they’ll only pretend to like me for the material posessions i come home to day after day of empty paper-pushing at the office. my life is terrible.”
it student: -no comment…too awkward to talk/too busy gaming-
non-som cla student: “would you like fries with that?”
school of music student: “everybody shut up…i’m shredding tasty licks and you’re throwing off my vibe. oh really, you played clarinet in high school? good for you, timmy. burt hara eats fools like you for breakfast.”

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