Sexstatic


a play on the word “ecstatic” but quite the opposite, as it is the joint use of the words s-x (intercourse) and static (unchanging).
it is when the male decides to awkwardly troll the female (or actually has a condition of s-xstaticism) during s-x by making only the same monotonous sound for every pelvic thrust. each sound must be identical in pitch, volume, tone, articulation, and resonance – even at the climax.

it must last the full duration of the s-xual activity, whether that be 5 minutes or an hour. after a s-xstatic performance, it is to not be talked about and pretended as if it never happened.
not s-xstatic: -during s-x- oh…ooooh…oh!….oh god!! ahhhh!!! —- my brains out gertrude!! as hard as your parents f-cked your name up!! -climax- ooh…i love you gerdy…

correct: -during s-x; in a deep/low pitch, any volume, and dry, unchanging tone.- ah…..ah…..ah…..ah…..ah…..ah….-climax- ah…..

oh em gee, i couldn’t sleep last night because my boyfriend was being s-xstatic and it was f-cking weird.

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