Shankavitch

origin: shanking a b-tch which you do when she has gotten overly emotional, socially awkward and sketchy on account of over-n-lyzing a semi-romantic situation involving a member of the opposite s-x (i.e. man). hence, “shankavitch”; derived from german root words “shonkol,” to soundly destroy, and “vitchen,” a woman’s every dream for a relationship.

when svitch finds a girl in a vulnerable condition due to a questionable interaction with a guy, she senses her opening and begins to sniff around looking to make trouble or destroy the relationship at hand.

legend tells us, she bears a striking resemblance to that longhaired dead b-tch that crawls on the floor featured in many j-panese horrors movies, including “ringu” and “the grudge” (i don’t know the word for “grudge” in j-panese).

shankavitch oftentimes leads girls to such extreme manifestations of crazy-b-tchness a) facebook stalking a guy she went/made out with once b) freaking the sh-t out of a guy by picking names out for their would-be children on their first date c) scr-w-ng up a tim tam slam and consequently spilling about 8 oz. of hot tea into her lap d) crying hysterically because her random hook-up, with whom she thought she “really had a connection” never called her back e) whilst drunk, she has a heart-to-heart with a member of the opposite s-x professing her intense interest in him, whom she only met the day before f) making out with an innocent guy who she has no interest in, just to make another guy jealous

synonym: “p-tastic”; alias: samara
“umm, did you see her in the store when he walked by? shankavitch totally came out to rage on her body, and as a result, she verbally abused her friends and then lost three dates. (awesome.)”

“dude, shankavitch thrashed all over her life on sunday, when she called a restaurant to see whether it was really closed as her date said, if he was actually watching a football game or if he was blowing her off. yeah.”

“the pukers have, what some might call, functional relationships due the low frequency at whi ch shankavitch -sserts her influence into their lives.”
another common way shankavitch manifests herself is by urging the affected female to obsessively check her daily horoscope and then -n-lyze every detail of it. it’s as if the author of the daily horoscope is shankavitch herself, just pestering the poor girl.
daily horoscope: your attachment to something beautiful can get you into trouble now, whether you are hooked by a piece of art or by another person. although your desires are not specifically physical, they certainly could manifest that way. ultimately, you are more in love with an idea than with anything else. understanding this can help reduce your frustration, especially if you are less than satisfied with what you receive.
shankavitch reaction:
uh ohhh, well first of all, i wouldn’t say i’m “in love” with anything, you should have seen mine yesterday. (and so on…)