sleepsturbate
the involuntary action of manually manipulating one’s genitals during rem sleep. this phenomenon is responsible for some unverifiable portion — scientific estimates point to 5-10% — of nocturnal emissions. it is rarely discussed in polite conversation, but is -ssuredly real. when caught in the act by an incidental third party observer, the awoken offender is often characterized by denial and defensiveness. the following sample text is a rare exception.
brett:
mike:
brett: what? can you do that in your room?
mike: i’ll spell it out for you later, -sshole.
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