sneaky vampire
similar to the sudden werewolf, but can be done on any night. during doggystyle, right before climax, bite your partner on the neck. when he/she whips around and asks, “wtf?!”, shoot your man-milk right in their eyes (it’ll sting like garlic). when they search blindly for a weapon, turn into a bat and get the h-ll out of there, bela. be home before sunrise.
kristina had been giving me a hard time lately, so i decided a sneaky vampire was in order. b-tch tried to put a stake thru my heart.
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