Soft Handz

early life/background
soft handz also known as “beans” is a well known gangsta rapper, popular through out the 1990’s. soft handz was born into a loving upper middle cl-ss family in northeast topsfield. despite his rather “un-gangsta” upbringing by the age of 9 handz was selling weed the local project of willowdale. it was not until his scientist sibling who is currently incarcerated for his second drug distribution conviction, suggested that handz sell the deadly street drug crystal meth that his drug dealing took off. as soon as the drug duo started creating meth in their parents bas-m-nt and by the age of 18 handz had become one of the biggest and most well established drug dealers in the tritown. it would not be long however until soft handz’ life would take a turn for the worse. just asfter moving a giant sale of meth in the notorious drug neighborhood meeting house he would be arrested and later find out that his customers were undercover cops. soft handz was sentenced to 23 months in prison after cutting a deal witht he d.a.
prison
while incarcerated soft handz spent most of his time writing in his journal and reflecting on his short and troubled life. on a visit that would later be reenacted in one of handz music videos, he met with longtime friend dr. knowledge. during the visit handz discussed that when he was released form prsion he would persue a career in adult film. dr. knowledge then held up beans’ fourth grade year book in which he proclaims, “when i grow up i want to be a rapper.” soft handz spent the remaining 14 months of the jail time writing raps and battling othe jailed emcee’s in shower time battles.
career
upon his release from prison the 22 year old topsfield native signed to fellow gangsta rapper, dr. knowledge’s record label, “dangerous m-th- f-ckin’ records.” the signing would launch handz’ prolific rap career. beans dropped his debut alb-m, “meth money” which despite being abnned from all radio staions went platinum. soft hands was notorious for his lyrical onslughts of fellow tritown rap artists. he also is credited with destroying the entire “crunk movement” with his destructive and furious diss track ent-tled “crunk reaper.” this amazingly influential song stripped the enitre south of all rap credibility and caused the collapse of all southern rap labels. handz went on to release his sophtmore alb-m “reckless endangerment” followed by “a t-field story.” after releasing his third alb-m rumors surfaced that soft handz was struggling with an addiction to prescription drugs. the rumors were never sonfirmed but soon after they surfaced handz left “dangerous m-th- f-ckin’ records.” he then started his own label “soft handz inc.” beans’ first alb-m on his new label “soft handed bandit” recieved mediocre reviews and jsut didn’t seem to have the same gangsta edge as his previous alb-ms. he tried again with his fifth alb-m ent-tled “guns, meth, and money.” once again this alb-m just did not impress the streets like the records on “dangerous m-th- f-ckin’ records.” beans decided that he would retire form the rap game. during his retirement handz’ worked with s-xually abused animals and traveled the world.
though he enjoyed his retirment handz decided after three years it was time for him to get back in the rap game and returned with his comeback effort “still got it.” beans continued rapping and released three more alb-ms including arguably his best effort, “f-ck me sideways.” longtime friend and former label mate dr. knowledge presented handz’ with an idea of doing a concept alb-m, but he declined stating that would “wreck his image.” handz’s went on to wirte his tell all autobiography ent-tled, “handz’: yours truly” in the book he describes hows he went from a small town hustler to a multi platinum rap legend. this book stired up some controversey becuase handz’ insisted that he is a descendent of leonardo de vinci. he also claimed he apparently has lunch with jesus atleast once a weak. it was around this time that the public started speculating about handz’ drug use becuase of his wild claims in the book.
post rap career
after soft handz announced his second retirement from rap he announced that he would be trying his hand in the adult film industry. handz went on to produce such cl-ssics as “blowski’s and more blowski’s” and “peter’s p-ssion.” though it seemed beans drug dealing days were in the past he went back to his old ways and was arrested with 63 kilo’s of crack cocaine. during his trial beans claimed that a higher power had forced him to return to selling drugs. the court ruled that soft handz would be better suited in rehab rather than prison and was sent to rappers rehab, where he spent only 3 months. currently soft handz resides in topsfield in his med evil style castle in the very spot that he grew up. he claims to be clean but it is suspected that soft handz still abuses drugs due to his erratic behavior and the fact that he insists that he is infact immortal and is actaully 347 years old. soft handz will go down in history as a legendary gangsta rapper who became rather strange after his retirement.
d-mn! you get that new soft handz sh-t? its of the chain!

soft handz is a crazy mouther f-cking g.

soft handz is a terrible influence on our children he must be stopped at once.