soft patch
a female tampon softly patching a woman’s b-tt cheeks together, via the sticky properties of ovulation, at night while she is sleeping on her back; this process is made possible by the v-g-n-‘s natural elasticity, as well as the uncontrollable relaxing and contracting while she sleeps, thus, causing the ‘tamp’ to slide out of the ‘vag’ (vadge), right into her crack.
ex:1
eric – hey baby girl, how’d you sleep last night?
erica – i slept great baby, other than the soft patch i woke up to this morning!
eric – bahhhh hahaha, how severe?
erica – full on soft patch…mo’f-cka stuck my cheeks together like bl–dy super glue!
ex2:
brit – you wanna soft patch angela tonight?
tiff – h-ll ya nukka!
brit – hahaha, i’ve got the ‘tamp’ & the ‘flo’ so we’re good to go!
tiff – let’s double patch her, i’ve got the red scare as well!
what you need to land on — especially when falling from a great height.
friend: listen, friend, i can’t pull you up. you need to let go… swing your body and aim for the soft patch.
you: omg. omg. omg.
friend: the soft patch is right to the left of those jagged boulders and just to the right of that rusty metal fence. aim for that soft patch.
you: -cries-
Read Also:
- Spackerlicious
1. a general spasticated feeling, the reasons for which you cant quite put your finger on. 1. im feeling pretty sp-ckerlicious today!
- Spamcation
a high cl-ss vacation that quickly turns from caviar and champagne, to spam and colt 45. named in honor of the carnival cruise ship splendor which got sidetracked due to fire. our trip to venice got cancelled, so instead we drove to el segundo and just had a spamcation
- Spanadia
a small unoffical region near driffield, east yorkshire, england. spanadia is about 500 meters square, but widely acknowledged by the local population. “i p-ssed through spanadia on my way to the sports centre.”
- Spangy Dangy
an adjective meaning unpleasant, undesirable, sh-tty, or generally f-cked up. my network connection is all spangy dangy today so i can’t download enough pr0n. dude, i went to eat that seafood surprise, but it was left out all night and it got f-cking spangy dangy.
- Spank Pouch
a condom that is otherwise too large for a small p-n-s that one puts on with the sole purpose of masturbating into. “i can’t wear magnums!” “just use it as a spank pouch then!”