sookie stackhouse
the grown-up, completely bad-ss version of bella swan; the protagonist and narrator in hbo’s true blood and the southern vampire mysteries.
twilighter: “bella swan was so brave when she saved edward’s life.”
smart person: “are you kidding!? when someone was after sookie stackhouse’s man, she choked him with a chain!”
there’s twilight and then there’s true blood on hbo, the much more funnier, s-xier, gruesomer and overall better version of twilight. based off of the sookie stackhouse books by charlaine harris (which are ah-mazing!), anna paquin plays sookie stackhouse, a blond haired, big chested waitress at merlotte’s, a bar in bon temps, louisiana. whereas bella will whine and cry and stutter for a couple months wearing the same outfit (don’t know what im talking about? watch eclipse) when she doesn’t have her man, sookie finds her man and gets her man whenever she wants him. whereas bella can’t stand the thought of ever being angry with emo edward, sookie knows how to lay down the law with bill. and while bella fantasizes about the perfect s-x moment with edward (so cliche – on a beach in a beach house all by yourselves and it is sooo romantic – bleh) sookie gets it hard and natural. so while they both are fantasy, sookie’s is at least real, in a bearable way. bella is too dramatic. sookie is the beast.
twi-hard: omg bella is so self -ssured! she can make decisions all by herself!
true blooder: she jumped off a cliff – um, h-llo, suicide attempt anyone? – then sat in a chair for three months staring out the window wearing the same outfit because her boyfriend wasn’t around to act all emo and depressed. plus, if she wasn’t stuttering and falling around behind edward, she was giving jacob a hard time by crashing on a motorcycle and threatening her life. yeah, she’s self–ssured. sookie stackhouse never thinks about killing herself or sitting in a chair stinking up the whole place or falling over microscopic rocks.
twi-hard: but edward is sooo hot!
true blooder: his chest is pale and disgustingly hairy. plus he acts like he cuts his wrists in his spare time. bill is smexy and doesn’t act all emo.
random person to twi-hard: in yo face!
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