spadget

spadget (spad jet) noun. a surprising little gadget or creature.
bro- yaah! what the h-ll!? a little animal just grabbed my ankle!
sis- i see you met our spadget.
bro- he came out of nowhere!
sis- that is his way.
bro- where’d he go?
sis- one does not question the ways of the spadget.
bro- why are you talking that way?
sis- what way am i talking?
bro- like everything is some big mystical experience.
sis- oh. sorry. it’s just the way we talk about him here.
bro- why?
sis- we don’t know where he came from, where he goes to sleep, what he eats, or if he’s feral or somebody’s pet that went wild.
bro- f-cking thing could have rabies. am i bleeding?
sis- no.
bro- you didn’t even look!
sis- he never breaks the skin.
bro- well, he’s not wild, then. that’s good.
sis- we tried to catch him to take him to a vet to get him his vaccinations. every time, we’d come out in the morning to find the bait gone and the trap empty.
bro- cool! so he’s smart.
sis- he’s a furry little einstein.
bro- c’mere… come here, little guy… spadget… spadgie-wadgie…
sis- oh, he doesn’t come when you call.
bro- here, spadgie… here boy… want some beef jerky?
sis- he’s not going to come. he doesn’t know you’re calling his name… oh my… what the f-ck?
bro- what a good boyyy…
sis- oh my gaw… we have been offering him all kinds of food for three years! and you’ve got him eating out of your hand!
bro- did you try beef jerky?
sis- yes, we tried everything.
bro- even teriyaki flavor? oh look, he likes having his belly scratched.
sis- he’s never even let me touch him! he never lets anyone touch him!
bro- he’s making little trilling sounds. shhh. i think he’s falling asleep.
sis- i don’t believe it. how did you get him to come out?
bro- one does not question the ways of the spadget.
sis- -sshole.