Spontaneous Mass Bodily Fluid Discharge
spontaneous m-ss bodily fluid discharge, or smbfd, is an extreme condition occurring at random without warning.
the potential side-effects include, but are not limited to: severe humiliation, emotional trauma, temporary to permanent paralysis of the face during discharge, speech impediments, ibs, ed, and death.
simultaneous discharges are as follows, in no particular order: tears, laughter, -j-c-l-t–n, explosive defecation, projectile vomiting, coughing, sneezing, burping, and urination. some cases have reported a brief scream prior to the simultaneous discharge. causes are still unknown, and thus occurrences have been established to be completely random. female cases have also been reported, and every side-effect is involved, excluding of course ed.
victims of smbfd have been known to lose consciousness immediately following the discharge, only to regain it minutes to hours later. unfortunately, amnesia is not a side-effect.
so i was walking to the counter at the library, when suddenly i cried, laughed, p-ssed and shat myself, puked, coughed, sneezed, and burped–all at the same time. it was so overwhelming that i p-ssed out and woke up several minutes later, lying in a pool of my own fluids. apparently, i also came, too. i heard a librarian murmur “it’s spontaneous m-ss bodily fluid discharge. he’s got the smbfd.” i ran out, sweating and needing to take a sh-t; i tried to talk but couldn’t. i never want to, either, not about what happened.
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