St. John’s College
st. john’s college is one of the oldest colleges in the united states. the college has two campuses, on in maryland and one located in arizona. the college is famous for it’s great books curriculum and it’s emphasis on the liberal arts. also, everyone does the exact same major and no one at the college seems to think that’s weird.
students at st. john’s at called johnnies and they do not have professors. instead they have tutors. a st. john’s tutor is normally very much like a st. john’s student; highly intellectual, quirky, eccentric and either a pot smoker, a regular smoker or a drinker.
basically if you go to this school you really love old books about old dead people and are the epitome of the intellectual. you probably like tea and mythology too.
st. john’s has no test, just oral examinations.
a large percentage of students from st. john’s are also admitted to grad school. the ones who do not attend grad school try and find jobs with their liberals arts degrees. so they join the peace corps and sh-t like that. or just marry another johnnie.
if you want to attend st. john’s, keep in mind that although they have very high averages for test scores and the like, the admissions committee basically admits you on your essays alone. everything is secondary.
“hey, you go to st. john’s college?”
“yeah.”
“you like it?”
“well…like is a relative term…but -ssuming you’re using the same definition i am, which here we shall say means looking fondly upon my experience as a student up until this point, yes.”
“uhm, what are you talking about?”
-gives dirty look-
girl jonnie: hey! wanna talk about books!”
boy jonnie: yes i love them
girl jonnie: socrates or nabakov?
boy jonnie: i have an erection
a school were losers go if you didn’t get accepted into gonzaga ,prep or ahc and visitation. the kids their suck at sports they are all wannabes and half of them are r-t-rds who go to binel which is special cl-sses for idiots. gonzaga+gc+prep kick their -sses at lacrosse,football,and baseball because they suck and think they get b-tches.
joe: hey who you playing today?
ron: st. johns college.
joe: ha don’t fall asleep ok brah!
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