stealth shopping
when what your shopping for is so embarr-ssing you have to go miles out of your way to the farthest possible shopping destination lest someone recognize you, wear a disquise, and try to b-ttress your embarrasing purchase by purchasing other less embarr-ssing items, and hiding the embar-ssing item at the bottom.
an example of stealth shopping:
myself: yes, i’ll take four or five of those p-rno mags, a box of tampons, these condoms, this industrial-sized jar of lube, and -mmrmfllemng-.
cashier: i’m sorry, so you want this britney spears cd also?
myself: yeah! please. announce it over the freakin’ pa, why don’t you!??!!!
cashier: ma’am, your mustache is falling off.
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