Stonewall Penalty


in football, where an unambigous foul is committed in the penalty area. the prefix ‘stonewall’ is used to highlight the obvious nature of the incident; stonewall being a particular type of wall used throughout scottish highlands and other mountainous regions as they are really obvious and n-body ever walks into them, ever. except the occasional rambling referee.
“the referee has walked right into that one! he must have been swayed by the fans here at old trafford. the player has been hacked down at the waist by a flying scissor kick just outside the six yard box but the ball has not been touched. that was a stonewall penalty.”
a complete, absolute and certain penalty kick in football.
a defender shooting a forward in the penalty area with a bazooka is a stonewall penalty.

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