straight piper


a person whose extended gastrointestinal tract resembles the exaust system (or lack there of) on a “suped-up” ’84 oldsmobile cutl-ss supreme. no catalytic converter, resulting in that oh-so-familiar rotten eggs smell. no m-ffler, resulting in a rumble that can shake the neighbors oregano off of their spice rack.
“have you ever had to share a hotel room with john? dude’s a straight piper…it’s impossible to get any sleep with the noises and smells that leak from his body”

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