Straterbation
the overused and exaggerated act of shredding on a stratocaster, much in the vein of jimi hendrix and stevie ray vaughn but far less tasteful. this act causes the player to appear at a much higher skill level than they actually are and may inevitably lead to a rendition of little wing, the star spangled banner, crossfire or redhouse. this is not limited to only these songs and these artists; some other notable songs that are often victims of public staterbation include yellow ledbetter, cliffs of dover pride and joy, superst-tious and under the bridge. straterbators inhabit bar bands and cover acts across the world; they are easy to spot but hard to get rid of.
tell tale signs that someone maybe about to straterbate would be:
1. suddenly appearing to smell something during a guitar solo (which should occur twice in every song)
2. lighting up a cigarette moments before beginning a song
3. laughing at an inaudible joke about the audience while looking directly at the audience
self-gratification via stratocaster causes an inflated sense of ego and leads to bar star syndrome. the best thing to do when being held captive by an over excited strat-enthusiast is to just let them finish and by tomorrow no one will know who it was or even care.
“that dude with the red strat just pulled out a black one and light up a cigarette… looks like he is about do some straterbation”
“can you blame him for wanting to straterbate? his band just played 3 sheryl crow tunes in a row!”
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