String Bass
a large string instrument which plays very low tones and is, colloquially put, a b-tch to carry around. the b-ss players have one of the hardest jobs in an orchestra, because they must keep a steady beat (to prevent the violins from speeding up or slowing down), but they must also change their tempo if the violins ignore their beat. the strings are usually tuned e, a, d, and g, in ascending order.
sam: “do i get to park in a handicapped parking spot because i have to carry a b-ss around?”
david: “no.”
sam: “well, i should.”
david: “yeah. it’s hard work, but playing string b-ss is awesome.”
sam: “indeed.”
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