Suction Cup Syndrom

suction cup sydrom, abbreviated scs, is a disease that usually affects females (though it can occur in males as well) who ‘suction’ themselves to another person they are attracted to. this happens either after the scs victim and their desired person have had s-xual relations, or sometimes even after the scs victim has been taken out by said person.

symptoms of a person who has scs include non-stop texting and calling after having s-x or going on a date with you, even when they get no responce; excessive creeping on your facebook/mysp-ce/twitter and evidence of that supported through their undeniably accurate knowledge of where you are and who you are with at nearly all times- sometimes even ‘happening to be in the same place at the same time’; and if the person claims to be in love with or obsessed with you, or your girl/boyfriend, even when any of those feelings are not mutual in any way.

scs is more frequent in the ages ranging from 16-25, but there have found to be exceptions.

if you or anyone you know may be suffering from scs, its recommended that you contact a doctor for the possibility of psycological treatment. in less serious cases, a good slap in the face from a much more level-headed friend will suffice.
day 1: jane meets john.
day 8: after talking for a while, jane and john go out to dinner and movie. jane and john bang.
day 9: jane texts john to thank him for good time. john doesn’t reply.
day 10: jane again texts john to tell him that she wishes to see him again. still no reply from john.
day 11: jane calls john. john doesn’t pick up. jane becomes angry.
day 12: jane calls john from blocked number. john picks up, says ‘h-llo’ and jane hangs up. jane repeats this process at least seven times during day 12.
day 13: jane drives by johns house to see if his car is there. it is, but so is another blue one. jane records plate number and tries to find out whether or not this is a love interest of john.
day 14: jane finds out john had been on a date with another girl yesterday. jane calls john from blocked number, but this time when he picks up, cries that she is in love with him and will do anything to get him back. john laughs and hangs up.

by day 25, john has had enough and files a restraining order. jane starts therapy around day 30 and by day 34, has found a new victim- josh.

please note: the john-jane case is basically the most extreme suction cup syndrom case that will occur. most times, jane’s day 12 or sometimes even day 13 behavior is the farthest a person will get before coming to the realization that no matter what they do, they will not be desired by john.