swiming
swiming, /schwī’mɪ̈ng/,(goblin): a ritual water sport engaged in by the goblin race approximately 30,000 years ago during the mattonian age. every winter, partic-p-nts were pitted against one another in a contest of bravery. archaeologists can only speculate from ancient translations of stone tablets that the maturity rite began with an affirmation of fertility, known as the “clasping of hands”. after the clasping of hands the goblins seek out a wet dark environment, like an aquatic cave, under a bridge or waterfall. the rest of the ritual is shrouded in esoteric knowledge and secrecy. it appears a main element of the mythology centered around grunt beetle larvae. grunt beetles lie hibernating in logs during the winter, and so their aphrodisiac secretions remain acutely potent in their glands. unfortunately not much is known about the actual compet-tion except that it appears the grunt beetle larvae were m-ssaged into the gonads of one’s rival. it’s unclear how victory was declared and defeat was recognized, but everyone leaves the cave a winner
after the last time we went swiming, we all agreed to never mention it again
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