Synaptic Relationship
my thoughts are the threads of the tapestry of my life. i manifest my life with my thoughts. without my thoughts i am a comatose vegetable with no manifest reality. every thought to which i attach a personal emotion becomes a st-tch in my tapestry. i can think fear without being fear, but the moment i attach my personal emotion of fear to a fearful thought, i have invited fear into my life. one lonely fearful thread may not do any harm but, if i am not careful, very soon the threads of fear work together to make a pattern in my life. then a scene begins to emerge in my tapestry – a needle point detail that describes my fear – with some focus the entire threads become a scene of fear; by fear and for fear. no matter how i spin it, no matter how i try to artistically codify those threads, in the end it is still a scene about fear.
by attaching an emotion to my thoughts – i.e. joy, fear, hate, love or anger – the thought acquires a synaptic relationship to that emotion (a comfort zone, if you will). this emotional investment manifests a fabric of emotion to drape over my thought and clothe it with something that belongs to me (kind of like a uniform). then my emotion is disguised as a thought, and the thought is disguised as an emotion. this emotional relationship gives my thoughts shape, texture and form in the three-dimensional world where my body resides – which is supposed to be outside of my thinking. next a three-dimensional presence is manifested as the reality of my life, and it appears in the form of people, places and things.
my tapestry is quite like the plumage of a peac-ck, attracting other peac-cks with a reality similar to my own. i grow the plumage – or weave the tapestry if you will (since i am mixing metaphors) – because it suits my purpose and my purpose is to live in fear, to doubt everything, not to trust anything or anyone – or not.
“my thoughts were st-tched into the fabric of my emotions
until the synaptic relationship to my feelings had dyed the tapestry
of my life the bright red color of fear.” ~rusty cline~
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