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teletard is a word originating from the highly popular chat website, habbo hotel. it is used to define a specific group of people who tend to act, or dress their avatar, in a specific way.

originally, while myself and scott were standing in the room gothic house, (the room is supposed to have a gothic theme. do not mistake me for some loser.) we were blocking the entrance to the room for kicks. a second entrance to the room is available through a teleporter, which we also stood in front of to prevent entry into the room.

while there, some kids used the teleporter and started insulting the two of us. i said something stupid, along the lines of “teleporter r-t-rds.” and scott replied with, “teletards!”

thus it was done. we now recognise a lot of people as teletards, and have gone as far as to give the cl-ssification six sub-genres.

first off, i would like you to understand that the original teletards were recognised by their use of the smiley “:|” which was their constant reply to anything we said that disagreed with them. these people lacked the intelligence to debate with us, and thus had to resort to a two-character smiley. anyone who uses this smiley will be automatically considered a teletard.

here are the teletard sub-genres;

cl-ssification #1: someone who dresses their avatar colourfully.

cl-ssification #2: someone who uses extremely pale skin for their avatar.

cl-ssification #3: someone who finger-f-cks their shift key. thus typing with a capital letter for the beginning of each word.

cl-ssification #4: the people that think adding !!11one!1omgwtfbbq!1 to the end of an exclaimed sentence is the cool and ‘leet’ thing to do.

cl-ssification #5: those who abuse punctuation, or go over the top when using internet acronyms.

cl-ssification #6: a combination of two or more of the above cl-ssifications.

though i would like to again make a point of the fact that the cl-ssifications are useless unless the accused has actually used the “:|” or “;|” smiley. or at least seems like they would.

-examples-

dan’: teleporter r-t-rds.
scott: teletards!
dan’: teletards
dan’: teletards
dan’: teletards
dan’: teletards
scott: teletards
scott: teletards
scott: teletards
scott: teletards

—

dan’: get out of my room.
teletard cl-ssification #1/2: n00b ;|

—

scott: get off my hotel.
teletard cl-ssification #3: its not your hotel 😐

—

dan’: shut the f-ck up.
teletard cl-ssification #4: 😐 … you shut up!11!1!oneoneomg!11wtfbbq!

—

teletard cl-ssification #5: ;|
dan’: f-ck off.
scott: you bell’ead.
teletard cl-ssification #5: lmf–oooooooooo

—

teletard cl-ssification #6: 😐 you are such a noob
dan’: get f-cked, c-ck-wh-r-.
scott: you c-ntblaster.
teletard cl-ssification #6: lmf–ooooooooo
dan’: don’t rape my language, you treasonous f-ck. get off my hotel.
teletard cl-ssification #6: what eva i cnt be bovad with yoo anymore -leaves-
scott&dan’: 1-0 🙂
cl-ssification #7: those in denial of using 😐 or ;|.

cl-ssification #8: those that think words like pie, beans, pot noodles are random, or just use the word random at an inappropriate time.

cl-ssification #9: these are the ones that think they have won an argument by repeating the same sentence over, and over again, usually they are in an argument because of their idiocy.

teletard is made up by scott & dan from habbo hotel uk.
our habbos are;
dan: myndflow, zummi, zumos etc. you’ll know who he is 🙂
scott: severe, manowar, dainty, gunsnroses, evergrey and so on.
dan: you are cl-ssified as teletard #1 automatically for using 😐
teletard: but i dont use it!
dan: you’ve used it once.
teletard: 1nce, wow ;|!
scott: twice! since your time in this room.
teletard: oh whatever i know im not a teletard;| bye
scott&dan: -laugh-

teletard: lol today i ate sum pie, yumm pie, pie is so randum
scott: rndm
dan: beanz
teletard: i fink peas r randum xd
scott: either disconnect your keyboard, get the f-ck out of this room, or get the f-ck off this hotel until you learn english correctly.
(teletard in the back): well she was random ;/
dan: get f-cked.

scott&dan: hahahaha, teletard, type something.. possibly your favorite smiley, and insults.. and type a long sentence.
teletard: um shutup u n00b ;|
scott&dan: just what we needed, you’re a f-cking teletard.
teletard: whatever n00b ;|
scott: hahahahaha! twice!
teletard: n00b ;|
dan: repet-tive..
teletard: whatever ;|
scott: anything better to say?
teletard: r u both r-t-rded? 😐
dan: as if he’s just called us r-t-rded.
scott: hahaha, smell da ironi lyk.
teletard: whatever ur both r-t-rded i win bye ;|