the alyssa alibi
the excuse you give your mother that you’re sleeping over her house or hanging out with her when in reality you’re with your boyfriend getting that d-ck.
chick: hey mom!! i’m going to alyssa’s tonight. she makes amazing brownies and oreo truffles. mmm, so excited!
mom: okay sweetie.
-arrives to boyfriend’s house-
chick’s mind: ahh, the alyssa alibi.
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