The Co-Op

a recyclable alcohol democracy. essentially, it’s a self sustaining bar. to build one, all you need is a small amount of money to “loan” this bar. then proceed to sell drinks for cost plus maybe twenty cents. (round numbers work well) once all the alcohol is gone you should have slightly more money than what you started with. naturally, you have to keep loaning it money until the bar is self sustainable. don’t charge for chasers, mixers, cups, straws or ice. this cost should come out of your profits. under no circ-mstances can the residents of the house drink for free, this defeats the purpose. people will respect you and your house more if they know you’re paying as well. also a stronger sense of unity is formed, and you won’t find sh-t smeared in the bathroom. one major advantage is that if you only have three dollars and can’t afford to go buy a bottle or a six pack, you can still get three drinks. likewise, if a girl, perhaps, doesn’t have five dollars for a cup she can buy four drinks at the co-op. reversely, if you have, say, twenty dollars you can buy twenty different drinks and not be stuck with that one bottle you would have otherwise purchased. continue this until you have enough money to buy materials to actually build a bar, purchase a sound system and gl-sswear.

the co-op is a universal name for such a bar. it originated in milwaukee, wi a few blocks south of the uwm campus in 2005. it’s perfect for any size house, apartment, or flat and works for all entertaining purposes.
the co-op is an excellent place to go for cheap booze after the bars and liquor stores close
the deity of a religion based upon the beliefs of anderson cooper. this holy spirit comes in every voting day to children’s windows to warn them about the dangers of eating their vegetables. if a child who has been spoken to by the coop disobeys this spirit by eating their greens, they will have reoccurring dreams of wolf blitzer for 2.5 years.
my son woke me up at 3 am last night as i heard someone rummaging through the fridge. when i made my way down the stairs, he froze with sweat pouring off of his face, dried tears in his eyes and a head of lettuce in his hand. as i took the lettuce from his grip he screamed in a satanic voice, “catch anderson cooper 360 weeknights at 8.” i could not do anything… i had lost my son to the coop.
to tilt your head as if talking on the phone without using your hands, only its without a phone. instead, it is just because you are physically incapable of holding your head up. it also looks really stupid.
guy 1: does that guy have neck problems?

guy 2: no. he is just doing “the coop.”

guy 1: wow. he looks ridiculous.
the uk supermarket the co-operative, used to go by the shorter name (co-op). this led the the development of simply referring to it as “the coop” mainly by younger members of the population.
kid: can we go down to the coop to get some chocolate
mum: sure