The Crack Alley
a slang term for the back alley, night club in calgary, alberta.
the crack alley is the self proclaimed “best rock bar in canada”. it is known throughout calgary for it’s “t-tty shots”, rock music, lack of dress code and lack of security pat down to find the knife/bear mace you probably have on you if you frequent the crack alley.
staff: it is well known by calgarians that the crack alley has the most fakest, tannest, bleach-blond, silicone breasted bartenders in all of calgary.
music: you can request a song to be played at the crack alley if you are a “18 year old” highschool girl who is willing to suck off one of the washed up, 40 year old, djs in the dj booth. although the crack alley does play more rock music than any other night club in calgary, because of this request policy at least half of the music played on an average night is lady gaga, rihanna or something similar.
entertainment: among the many things to do at the crack alley the most popular are; getting “t-tty shots”, fighting (on the dancefloor or in the parking lot) and nearly choking to death from the bear mace that is periodically sprayed by random -ssholes over the dancefloor.
clientele: crack alley customers consist of oil rig workers who make a lot of money but blow it all on c-ke, “18 year old” highschool girls, basically every metal head/skid who went to your highschool and normal people who haven’t been in a while and need to remind themselves why they don’t go there.
i did a bunch of blow in the bathroom of the crack alley last night and got into a fight with some drunk -ss
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