the lysiak
this is a little-known but intense s-xual move. wait around in a dark, secluded thicket until a defenseless, elderly woman wanders by. ask her if she’s ok, but just close enough for your microwave oven to blow her pacemaker haywire. then, bend her over a park bench, throw her poodle skirt over her broken hips, and f-ck her like osteoporosis is going out of style until her blue wig falls off. then steal her motorized cart and ride off into the darkness
i was so f-cked up from that varnish that i did the lysiak
hit her with the motorized cart. get out of the cart and start screaming “its miller time!!!” then take all of her skin. disguise yourself in her skin on you and walk into the social security office. get her money and cart on off into the sunset for your next old woman. best places to find old people are: wegmans on weekday mornings, voting booths, and florida.
i knew i had a problem when i was getting my jollies from doing it lysiak style.
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