The Rainforest Café
large jungle-themed restaurant owned by the landry’s corporation. typically falls just short of pimping out its employees in its never-ending quest to squeeze every last godd-mn dime out of customers. often mistakes the criteria for what makes a rainforest animal (note: kodiak grizzlies do not live in the rainforest) and what const-tutes an appropriate rainforest soundtrack (note: nix the jazz flute and the country rock ballads). management handpicks leering hispanic men and manic f-cktard douchebags to round out the staff. don’t snap on the retail girls because you don’t understand the dynamics of capitalism.
man: wtf there is a pet-te mexican man inside that 6′ tree frog costume. why is he bipedal, why does he stink of febreze.
woman: why, that’s cha cha! the rainforest café’s lovable mascot here to lift your spirits and enliven your child’s day.
man: i’ve decided to go batsh-t insane on the next person to take my picture for $5.99 or offer me membership to their safari club program.
woman: why is it so loud in here? the foliage overhead is extremely dusty. are those fish real? those uniforms are fugly.
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