The Two Pump Rule
the two pump rule has been created in honor of all those christians who feel guilty about having s-x even if the guy just put his p-n-s in once and then they felt bad and stopped. do not worry my fellow christians, you did not have s-x because a p-n-s must be inserted into the v-g-n- two times to have had s-x. the head of the p-n-s must totally be inside to count as a pump. if she is a virgin and you give only two pumps but break the hymen then well done, you have p–ped her cherry without having s-x with her.
example 1:
sally: i’m pregnant with your baby
john: b-tch, no your not
sally: your the only one i have has s-x with
john: we didn’t have s-x, we didn’t have s-x because i got mines within two pumps
sally: what?
john: yeah b-tch, “the two pump rule”, now get the f-ck out my house cause i’m not the father.
example 2:
jack: did you f-ck my wife!!!!!!
matt: no
matt: (thinking to himself)- i did not f-ck her because i jacked off in the bathroom until i was almost about to c-m and then went onto the bed and put it in her and -j-c-l-t-d on the second pump…therefore i did not f-ck her….thanks to the two pump rule
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