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noun.

1. a person who resides in toronto, ontario, canada.

2. a gracious and tolerant sort of guy or gal who listens with herculean patience and nothing but a sad sigh now and then as every ill-educated sheep-sh-gger, penniless cod-kisser, s-xually confused lumberjack and soulless oil tyc–n befouling the rest of the country badmouths him tirelessly because they don’t have half the cool sh-t that he does.

3. a person who starts feeling suicidal every year around the time of the stanley cup playoffs.

4. someone who pays fully half of their income in taxes so that a bunch of miserable ingrates living in shacks can spend half the year on the dole, scratching their molson muscles and b-tching about how much they hate torontonians.

5. a person who can find everything she needs within a twenty-minute walk or bike-ride from her front door.

6. a resident of the 416 area code, but mercifully not of the 905.

7. someone who is too polite to tell his best friend, who lives in vancouver, that, ‘no, frankly i really don’t wish i lived in vancouver. not everyone on the whole f-cking planet wants to live in vancouver, for christ’s sake. besides, your whole godd-mned drug-infested city’s going to slide into the ocean some day, be it global warming, act of heavenly retribution, or one tremendous motherf-cking earthquake. so there.’
albertan: torontonians are a bunch of jesus-hating f-ggots. we should separate from canada to get away from them.

quebecker: torontonians are a bunch of money-hungry conservatives. we should separate from canada to get away from them.

newfoundlander: torontonians are a bunch of self-centred -rs-s. we should separate from canada to get away from them

torontonian: i wish all those f-cking leeches would separate from canada so that i wouldn’t have to pay for all their godd-mned cigarettes and health care any more.
while often misunderstood by fellow canadians as someone who pretends to occupy the center of the universe, upon visiting this fair city these misguieded compatriots find themselves compelled to admit that the torontonian actually does.
a native inhabitant of the northwestern sh-r- of lake ontario, the torontonian has also been known to inhabit snowy hills and wooded climbs…and to lament the abysmal record of one of the most poorly managed professional hockey teams of all time.
a person that was born or lived/lives in toronto or have spent a large part or formative of their career in that city toronto,ontario,canada (ter-ron-tone-ee-in)

similar to the term canadian.
toronto is the largest city in all of canada.
other terms/nicknames for toronto are:
t-dot; t.o; hogtown; the big smoke; toronto the good
“i rep for toronto!”
“toronto is tha besstt !!”
i am torontonian and proud of it !
insufferably arrogant people who consider themselves and their city (toronto, ontario) g-d’s gift to canada and the universe. though universally hated by canadians from every other part of the county for the past several decades, it never occurs to torontonians that there might be a reason for all the resentment. torontonians are incapable of considering anyone else’s point of view except for their own, yet strangely label everyone else “intolerant”. they also believe they speak for all canadians on all matters, even though their viewpoints typically have no relation to practicality, reason or even reality.
d-ck: john and mary are typical torontonians.
jane: so are john and mary complete -ssholes?
d-ck: i believe i already answered that question, jane.
some of the biggest douchebags you’ll ever meet. they are about as civilized as a bunch of wild dogs and in fact if you read the story “the shadow over innsmouth”, lovecraft would probably be put into a coma out of fear due to how bad torontonians are compared to the residents of innsmouth. common behaviour you should expect from them: cutting in front of you in line, blatantly displaying their belief that they are superior than you, giving you dirty looks for the most minor things, if you offer them a place in line they’ll take it without saying a word, etc.
i’m a torontonian myself but i can’t lie to myself and say torontonians are polite and nice people. i try to be polite whenever i can. this is literally what happened as soon as i got back from a trip in europe at the toronto airport: 1. i was on those moving ramps and a bit to the left (not realizing it) and some c-nt of a soccer mom with tna pants says “slower people to the right” with her little sh-t of a daughter. 2. my dad offers someone a place in line and he just says “ok” without a single word of grat-tude. 3. some b-tch who works there decides its okay to split up my family when checking our p-ssports instead of having everyone together to save time.
someone who was born and raised (not always) but most importantly lives in toronto, canada

the whiniest, b-tchiest people in canada. a torontonian’s main means of entertainment is b-tching, usually in the letters to the editor section of the toronto star, about how the government isn’t spending enough money on x or should be accountable for y.
your typical torontonian is very opposed to firearm ownership and use, and supports the strictest of firearm regulation laws. same goes for owning and breeding pitbulls.

these phobias are based on what moms talk about in the schoolyard while picking up their kids, rather than actual fact.
toronoto has the highest concentration of soccer moms in the country, a figure which is rising rapidly with the popularity of call of duty (which an increasing number of parents believe is polluting our society) and the toronto fc.
what a stunning message to the women of this country when one adds this refusal to attend the washington women’s health summit to the string of insults we have experienced over his “reign.” he doesn’t even have the grace to reply to the invitation, reportedly. it speaks volumes.

if nothing else, the rest of the world will understand that we women in canada are facing a real battle as we detail the way the issues that are essential to women here and everywhere have been belittled and are of no importance to this pm and his government, except as a strategy to gain that golden fleece called a “majority.”

it’s understandable that harper wouldn’t go to the washington women’s health summit, aptly ent-tled “we deliver.” he can’t and apparently it’s an issue for him. how else to explain?

– a typical torontonian scrutinizing politician’s every move. chances are, that if harper did attend this thing, she would have still found something to complain about.
1. a person who resides in toronto, ontario, canada.

2. a person who has lost all idea of common courtesy, personal sp-ce, reality, etc. they have also been known to; wait for you to open a door, then run through it before you can; not give up seats to pregnant women on public transit (they’re more important); whisper things under their breath about your mother if you take more than 1.2 seconds to order a coffee and then proceed to order a double-java-mocha-ultra-non-fat-goat’s-milk latte; ignore your attempts to exit a subway and remain blocking your path then scoff at you when you say ‘excuse me.’; generally ignore anybody beyond themselves.

3. a hipster douchebag. this type of torontonian has been known to; shop at salvation army because it’s ‘cool to look poor’ although both their parents are doctors; name their band after something that has to do with j-pan (ie. tokyo police club); go to coffee places that tell you they’re serving free trade coffee but it’s actually folger’s sold at 400% mark-up; pretend to have intelligible things to say about world events because they read about it on somebody’s blog; act like they have their own unique style although all hipsters look the same (you’re no different than thugs, preps, bro’s, etc.); live at their parent’s house in forest hill but spend all their time in kensington market; etc.

male torontonian hipsters have been known to wear tighter pants than the females – no scientific journal has been able to decipher this strange behaviour. the males are also often mistaken for a member of the village people – skin-tight pants, mustache, 80’s sun gl-sses, bad hair cuit – but believes he is still cool.

female hispters are not hot.

4. an incorrectly labelled person who resides in toronto but was born and raised in another city. often mistaken for an actual torontonian, these individuals take offense to the label. they are often courteous, attractive, smart, and will choose to cheer for any other hockey team besides the maple leafs. they tend to move to toronto in order to further their career and often contemplate moving back in with their parents and living on welfare just to get out of the city of toronto.
1. hey! you’re a torontonian because you live in toronto!

2. person a:man that guy is a douche!

person b: they don’t call them torontians for nothing.

3. person a: that chick is hot!
person b: dude, that’s a male hipster torontonian!

4. newfoundlander: f-ck you, you f-cking torontonian sc-m.
incorrectly-labelled torontonian: f-ck you! that guy is the torontonian – i’m from ottawa! -points to guy wearing tight pants with a mustache, listening to feist-

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