tour de france
an international sporting event for evaluating new performance enhancing drugs, blood doping, masking agents, and other forms of cheating. also a simultaneous event in which the chemistry people try to develop testing techniques to catch the cheating from the first event. some cycling is also apparently involved.
see: amphetamines, erythropoietin, growth hormone, steroids, testosterone
there are two types of compet-tors in the tour de france — cheaters, and those that haven’t been caught (yet).
the most popular cycling event in the world. it has been held in france every summer since 1903 (excluding the years of 1915-1918 and 1940-1946 due to the world wars). the race has a current traditional length of about 3 weeks, and falls in the month of july. the rider do not race for three weeks straight, of course. they race one stage a day, with two rest days stratigically placed within the race schedule to give the riders ample time to recover. each stage is usually around 100 miles or so. among the most famous riders to win the tour are the big five. these are the five men who have won the tour five times (or more). these men are: jacques anquetil (1957, 1961-4), eddy merckx (1969-72, 1974, bernard hinault (1978-9, 1981-2, 1985), miguel indurain (1991-5), lance armstrong (1999-2005). all of the above men won the tour just five time except lance armstrong, who won seven times in a row. the overall leader of the tour wears the notorious “maillot jaune”, or “yellow jersey”. other special jerseys include the polka dot jersey, given to the best climber, the green jersey, won by the best sprinter, and the white jersey, which is awarded to the rider under 23 years of age who is highest in the overall cl-ssification.
the tour de france is awesome!
the most challenging sporting event in the world.
a marathon each day for 3 weeks.
typically in french p-rnographic films, the actors kiss and/or feel eachother strangely and take an excessive amount of time moving on to the next phase.
a tour de france occurs when you have to pull off a masturbation marathon to last throughout the film. although sometimes exhausting, you are rewarded as an end result.
a- “man, i was watching a really neat french p-rno, but i had to do a d-mn tour de france!”
b- “now you know why armstrong got his name.”
n. any pursuit that seems pointless, needlessly difficult, lacking in spectator appeal, and corrupt.
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we are going to bring a planeload of canadians down to the casino for an ice-curling tournament.
isn’t that kind of a tour de france?
the act of performing an eiffel tower while riding a bicycle. some users find that using a tandem makes this easier to accomplish. an eco-friendly and marginally safer alternative to bobbin’ shotty.
emergency room doctor: “how’d you break your leg, son?”
pat: “well, my buddy and i were totally riding a tour de france on this chick on the bike path, when he lost his balance and we collided head-on with a trike.”
one of the great things about france, bike racing.
lance armstrong raped the tour de france seven years in a row with one t-st-cl-.
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