turtle dick

someone that takes a long time to get an erection
“did you sleep with tom last night?”
“no, he had a turtle d-ck.”
9 more definitions
your d-ck is so cold and gets so small it appears that it goes inside of you, thus resembleing a turtle as it would go inside its sh-ll
(past tense) yesterday, i got a wicked case of turtle d-ck

(present tense) today, i got a wicked case of turtle d-ck

(future tense) i hope i don’t get turtle d-ck tomorow
when in a state of anxiety or after having been struck in the genitals, the p-n-s tends to retract into the body. the name is derived from the turtle’s defense mechanism.

also applies to the bodily response after having gone swimming
i just went for a swim, and i got a mean case of turtled-ck (or turtlec-ck, tortoise-shlong)
what happens to males when they swim in cold water. the action of the p-n-s retracting into the body to save heat.
oh my god! i have turtle d-ck.

the water is so cold i got turtle d-ck
the act of getting to scared, that one’s d-ck goes back into the body, the way a turtle’s head hides in it’s sh-ll.
that turtle-d-ck ran so fast when he saw big rick across the street! he almost got a beat-down!
the uncontrollable full retraction of the male p-n-s, leaving just nuts.

as in a turtle pulling his head back inside of his sh-ll.

causes: cold water, fright, koo ko girlfriends or wives.
rieko went koo ko and screamed at me in front of thousands of people at disneyland and before you know it, i had turtle d-ck.
when a circ-mcised p-n-s retracts into the remaining foreskin scar or shaft.
it’s so cold, i’m turtle d-cking.
sorry, i was adjusting my turtle d-ck.
the inverted crawl of the male genitalia much like when a turtle hides his head in his sh-ll. this happens when you spot a woman that once was hot enough that you would have had s-xual relations. now she is such a fright with an additional 40lbs and an extra set of br–sts on her back. just the thought of her makes your p-n-s crawl back into your groin.
oh my g-d did you see her? she is such a mess, just thinking about her gives me turtled-ck. what happened to her?